lost & found
kodak duaflex II, kodet lens made between 1950-54
i lost my mind in the midst of my grief and trauma during the last year. sometimes i run into people on the street and i cannot remember their names. i know we were neighbors, aquaintances from the kindergarten- i know we had coffee together, play dates, and for sure they were at the sun’s funeral.
camera bag had a roll of verichrome pan film, flash, a set of 4 new ge bulbs
they ask how we are doing and i say fine as i struggle to remember their name….processing the alphabet in my mind hoping one of the letters will jog my memory….this is so out of character for me that the shock of it failing me leaves me speechless- all i can say is es tout mir sehr leid, aber ich kan mich nicht deine name erinern….it is so awkward for me but everyone is always so graceful. they just hug me.
instructions include how to develop your own film
there is more that i have forgotten or maybe it’s just that everything is different now….feels different now. of course everything is different- nothing is the way it was before. i’m getting to know the way things are now…myself, my family and my home again. in fact, these days i feel like my home is giving me a big, huge, constant, hug just for spring cleaning it….producing memories, treasures, and forgotten things…..
..especially this space i’m stuck in , but i don’t mind- i found my kodak duaflex II that i got on ebay the summer before last- came all the way here from detroit i think- and in mint condition- even had a roll of film, still in its package that reads develop in total darkness, before november 1959! everytime i look at it, it makes me smile big- it delights me!
stephanie http://rodrigvitzstyle.typepad.com
April 30th, 2009 at 3:02 pmDear Elsa,
I would guess that these people you run into are just happy to hug you and understand you are trying to find your new reality. Your studio space looks light and bright and spacious and just the ticket for inspiring creative work.
The camera!! is wonderful!! and soooo funny, develop before 1959!!
Sending lots of hugs to you Elsa!
x…x
steph
rochambeau http://rochambeau.typepad.com
April 30th, 2009 at 3:11 pmI love your friends and acquaintances for hugging you and lifting you up Elsa. It makes my heart smile to hear that, to know that you are gaining glimmers of life back. That your house hugs you.
You give me strength, just knowing you are striving to walk along a new path. You are a special woman,
a precious soul! I am grateful we have met.
Perhaps your new camera will assist you on your new life’s journey.
Big love,
Constance
somepinkflowers http://somepinkflowers.typepad.com/
May 1st, 2009 at 12:24 amdear elsa
guess what?
we are all lost & found sometimes…
over and over and over again.
——-> Life
i love seeing you tell your story this way,
through these photos.
{{ i linked over to your flickr
and thought how i would love to sit in that room with you,
looking at you treasures.
the world is so amazing }}
oh
and guess what again?
my parents had a camera Just Like That
and i had forgotten until i saw yours here.
see…
that is what i mean.
you brought back to me
happy memories of my parent’s camera.
amazing…
Amy http://iluvretrothings.blogspot.com
May 1st, 2009 at 2:01 amhey girl, I can understand your grief, we need to be able to go through that processing of grieving, I admire you for being so real on here too. And btw I love your camera, you should join us each week for vintage thursday thingies.
tinker http://tinkerart.typepad.com/tinker_art/
May 1st, 2009 at 7:49 pmWhat SPF said - ‘we are all lost & found sometimes’ - that is so true, I think…
What a wonderful camera - cameras are such amazing, magical inventions! They find the light in the shadows, the positive in the negatives, and help us time travel, to remember the details — a place, a moment in time…
Houses are amazing and magical too. I love the idea of your home hugging you, surrounding you with love. Your studio looks light and airy - like just the place to sit down and create…
Big Hugs
e@elsaaraya.com http://elsaaraya.com
May 3rd, 2009 at 3:05 pmi orginally got the camera to experiement with the view finder and take cool pics like they have on flickr- but *now*, my dear husband is more interested in seeing if it works instead of helping me with the contraption i’m trying to build to fit it to my digital camera- i’m sure ýou’ll be hearing more about this….
Morena Doll http://morenarena.blogspot.com/
May 5th, 2009 at 10:59 pmYour writing is beautiful.
and this made me smile.
coloradolady http://coloradolady.blogspot.com
May 6th, 2009 at 10:02 pmOh, thank you for your visit to my blog. Please come again. We have a lot of fun on Thursdays…..you may want to join in…..I love your camera in this post…very nice indeed. Have a great day1
rochambeau http://rochambeau.typepad.com
May 7th, 2009 at 9:27 pmHi Friend,
Dropping by to give you a hug Elsa.
How are you today Bella?
Sending you a smile.
Big love,
Constance
gisele schoene http://giseleschoene.blogspot.com
May 9th, 2009 at 5:42 pmYour camera is something! And the film is just a bit expired! I am curious to see how the pictures will turn out.
It is wonderful to see spring air is bringing you good energy, I imagine the gardens in Germany are beautiful during this time of the year.
And your office is sooo cool! I love the big table, the windows and all the wood around. It feels very cozy!
Christina at soul aperture http://soulaperture.blogspot.com/
May 28th, 2009 at 1:33 amHello beautiful! I found you through rochambeau, and I am so glad I did ; )
I hope you don’t have too many hugs to carry ; )
I send you hugs, light and time.
xo