i did. absentee voting was easy- and because they didn’t send me the sticker, i had one made- courtesy of my friend claudia. i even had a t-shirt made because it was too late to order one- i am proud to be an obamamama 

november is create every day month- get more info here.

very few things are better than a good book that cannot be put down. for the last several months reading has been a lifeboat for me- a relief from pain and madness. i carefully planned the next book before i finished the current - i searched and dug out every books to read list i started, every piece of post-it with a recommendation scribbled on it from the last phone conversation with a girlfriend (i love recommendations), i referred to reviews including those of talk dark and handsome, i even reread a few great classics-  what a sweet escape.

there are one too many projects i have put on hold because they just weren’t exciting anymore, i didn’t have the energy, plus i didn’t want to put a good book down-

i will continue my 365 challenge on flickr but am signing off  from here to focus on and finish my projects. i especially would like to spend my free time catching up on personal correspondence- letters, emails, even telephone calls.

i may even renovate or give this blog a face lift, we will see.

for now, auf wiedersehen

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hthe sun’s story will soon be published by a major world magazine- and one other one has shown interest so we are very pleased. 

halso- the best book i read this year is the time traveller’s wife by audrey niffeneggar- what a treat- if you haven’t read    it, do it now before the movie comes out later this year.

he calls oma and opa every night to say good night. today he showed them the fire …..”guck, guck- wie heiss das feuer ist”

we are all so much alike, yet we can be so certain we’re different. the better we understand they ways that we are the same, the easier it is to make friends with someone new. and it is through friends that we grow and become strengthened. that’s kent in the middle, our new friend from my home state of texas- and no, that is not all we have in common.

surprise in the mail today- all the way from texas. i hope yaya who sent this beautiful gesture of love and her family are safe this evening

i have never lost anyone so close to me before and for so many days i did not know how to take my next breath or even live to see the next day. it is with the help of friends and family that we are having  bearable days. it is a relief but the relief itself comes still with a void in my very core and it’s okay if it never goes away.

i have been trying to find words to express how it feels to be surrounded with so much love. it is deeply touching to know that we are not alone. our neighbors, friends, family- everyone near and far is grieving with us, thinking of us, and praying for us.

i am grateful for every email, card, letter, and call we have recieved to comfort, every offer to just say what can be done to help us. i am grateful for my friends that take me along to walk their dogs in the evenings, out for ice-cream, coffee, brunch, and send emails to just let me know that they are thinking of me. i am grateful for the care package from sun’s kindergarten with handmade candles, precious stones, and drawings of her ascending into heaven- in one where she is covered in gold. i am grateful for her little friends who are a constant reminder of her and the ones who still come over and play with the moon just like she played with him everyday. i am ever so grateful for the moon who makes us laugh until we cry at unexpected moments.

and i am truly grateful for all our friends and family- thank you, thank you for the outpour of support that has carried us through this tragedy, our difficult time.

half of little wing play with the lunatics

 the woerners enjoying the last of summer nights 

how kindergarten sends mail

luisa on my 36th birthday

click on photo to view video

we planted an apple tree for her in our garden then had birthday cake and fighting tears we sang happy birthday to her as the breeze blew out the candles one at a time- just as she would have done it.  it is with sore hearts that we celebrate our sunshine’s fourth birthday today.  

she had a thrilling way of being wonderful. she had so much love to give- so beautiful inside and out, so very special. you see, at her very young age, she had a soul more beautiful than any that i have ever known. she was kind, considerate and respectful as she surprisingly often asked permission if she could do something. and she was funny. she would crack herself up laughing all the time and us too. she loved books. her intelligence amazed us when she began reciting at the age of two from memory wilhelm busch poems that her papa read to  her every night. every night she knew exactly what she wanted to hear. if it was a story from one of her anthologies, she said what she wanted read to her then knew exactly where to find it.  although not uncommon for someone like her that is born into two languages, it was amazing for us to witness her understand everything i said in english while she always answered in german. she loved to dance and when she would sing, i would tell her how beautiful her voice is so that she would sing some more. it was breathtaking. i could never help but smile from ear to ear.

when i think about her last months, i realize how bravely she endured so much and clearly fought so hard to live. we, my husband and i know now the delicate balanced involved, the exquisite beauty and love that can exist in an instant of breath, in one solitary glance. her memory and these remembered expeiences do give us strength and faith to understand that she chose us as her parents for a reason. we are forever changed, and without question better people to know her.  she had a passion for life.  she wanted to learn everything. she loved challenges. she wanted to play guitar, piano, she loved to paint, and most of all, she was eager help in the kitchen. the other thing i realized is that she had incredible memory. she recalled people, places, events- she would talk about when this happened or when so and so did or when we were…..it is astonishing.   

she had dreams, she had wishes, we had plans. she wanted a really, really, big swing so she could swing into the clouds like heidi. she couldn’t wait to go back to kindergarten and see all of her friends again. she wanted a garden birthday party again this year, this time only pink balloons. she was excited to attend ski kindergarten for the first time this winter. she would have been old enough to go to musikgarten as a graduate of the mommy and me group and was beside herself with joy that her little friend marlene would to join her too. she wished her brother could go with her to kindergarten- they share a love that i enjoy knowing.

it breaks my heart to talk about her in past tense- as crazy as it may sound, i often try not to do it.  we think of her every single hour of every day, she is so deeply missed and will never, ever be forgotten. happy birthday our sunshine, our little angel.